So, with the help of some experts, let’s take a moment to dismantle what you think you know about topping and bottoming. Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. But it ought not to be impossible to sexually switch things up. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.Īll of this can make trying different things daunting, especially if you’re a baby gay venturing into this world for the first time. But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA). Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms.
